How to identify an American:
1) You hear them before you see them.
2) Why? They don't speak. They holler.
3) When you do see them, they are decked out in flip flops and boob tubes like it's their uniform.
4) They speak Italian (but only in class) with an American accent. (I would looove a gelado [sic]...I feel like some spagheddi [sic]...)
5) They are usually the ones with the hangovers, cos they simply look the part.
6) You hear them before you see them.
So yeah. I don't heart them that much. Shoot me.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Oral Pleasure
Tomorrow is my Oral Esame. Honestly, it's been a while since I've been stressed out over exams just cos' I never ever study in Singapore, well ok, maybe for a couple of days.
Our teacher, Paolo, freaks us out, cos he is such a perfectionist. People actually tremble in class while giving their comments (mandatory!). But with all that said, he is perfect as a teacher. It's my third month here in Italy and we are already discussing about the state of (current)affairs in Italy, and the rest of the world.
Topics we spoke about:
- mobile phone usage
- aging population
- religion
- divorce rates
To be discussing current affairs in a foreign language, now how neat is that. Just ignore the grammar errors and strange accents.
Our teacher, Paolo, freaks us out, cos he is such a perfectionist. People actually tremble in class while giving their comments (mandatory!). But with all that said, he is perfect as a teacher. It's my third month here in Italy and we are already discussing about the state of (current)affairs in Italy, and the rest of the world.
Topics we spoke about:
- mobile phone usage
- aging population
- religion
- divorce rates
To be discussing current affairs in a foreign language, now how neat is that. Just ignore the grammar errors and strange accents.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Shit Happens
I guess you can never consider yourself a true-blue resident in any part of Europe till you have been hit by some form of animal excretion at least once.
A friend's mum had to leave her shoes behind on the streets of Paris after stepping on a pile of dog poo. (Remember SJP in Sex and the City? When she had to leave behind her beloved Manolos?) On a recent trip to Venice, two friends were hit by shit from pigeons. One on the head and another one on her top. I got my own fair share of shit too 2 weeks back when it landed on my arm. And last week, my friend and I were standing near a shop talking in Florence and ...'splat'!- right between the two of us. A rule of thumb is not to stand close to buildings where pigeons usually park themselves above, and decide to take a toilet break.
But do you know that getting hit by bird poo in Italy is considered good luck? It signifies that something really good will happen to the person here. So till the next time I get hit again, wish me luck!
A friend's mum had to leave her shoes behind on the streets of Paris after stepping on a pile of dog poo. (Remember SJP in Sex and the City? When she had to leave behind her beloved Manolos?) On a recent trip to Venice, two friends were hit by shit from pigeons. One on the head and another one on her top. I got my own fair share of shit too 2 weeks back when it landed on my arm. And last week, my friend and I were standing near a shop talking in Florence and ...'splat'!- right between the two of us. A rule of thumb is not to stand close to buildings where pigeons usually park themselves above, and decide to take a toilet break.
But do you know that getting hit by bird poo in Italy is considered good luck? It signifies that something really good will happen to the person here. So till the next time I get hit again, wish me luck!
Monday, May 21, 2007
More! More! Mall!
The one thing to do when in Italy: stock up at factory outlets!
We checked out The Mall over the weekend, though not the easiest place to get to, an hour's drive from Florence (in the countryside). But the journey was soooo well worth it. Discounts go up (or down) to 50% off retail price, and almost every shop rocks! Say ciao to your money at the always popular (a tad mainstream in my opinion) Gucci, Burberrys, Fendi, Ferragamo and Armani. But what made me really happy was that they had my favourite YSL, king of uber cool, Yohji Yamamoto, bad-boy-Brit Alexander McQueen, psychedelic Pucci and kick ass Balenciaga! I wanna go back again!
For Prada-philes, there's also SPACE, about an hour's drive from Florence. They have a tiny collection for Miu Miu and Jil Sander too. It's a great place for gifts such as ties and wallets, but sadly the collection for bags is still better in the stores. Plus they never have your size for shoes, unless you are a size 10. Sigh.
Now tell me, why don't they have Marc Jacobs?
We checked out The Mall over the weekend, though not the easiest place to get to, an hour's drive from Florence (in the countryside). But the journey was soooo well worth it. Discounts go up (or down) to 50% off retail price, and almost every shop rocks! Say ciao to your money at the always popular (a tad mainstream in my opinion) Gucci, Burberrys, Fendi, Ferragamo and Armani. But what made me really happy was that they had my favourite YSL, king of uber cool, Yohji Yamamoto, bad-boy-Brit Alexander McQueen, psychedelic Pucci and kick ass Balenciaga! I wanna go back again!
For Prada-philes, there's also SPACE, about an hour's drive from Florence. They have a tiny collection for Miu Miu and Jil Sander too. It's a great place for gifts such as ties and wallets, but sadly the collection for bags is still better in the stores. Plus they never have your size for shoes, unless you are a size 10. Sigh.
Now tell me, why don't they have Marc Jacobs?
Friday, May 18, 2007
The not so dolce vita part 2
This is my second consecutive post about the ugly side of Italy. Make no mistake about it, I love Italy and all and its people are warm and friendly. But isn't there always a 'but'?
Yesterday evening as me and some friends were having drinks at a bar, two losers came up to us and conveniently plonked themselves down next to us. After the usual 'Where are you from?'; 'What are you here in Italy for?' (despite trying to brush them off), one guy resembling a drunken cokehead asked if he could take a sip from my drink. I rolled my eyes and blurted 'NO'! He went on to ask me in Italian 'Do you know the meaning of 'puttane'?' I said no and I did not wish to know and told him to leave. Sure he got up and left, after shouting in my face 'Sei puttane!!!' The meaning of 'puttane' - whore. He is one smelly cunt himself.
Not the end of the story.
Loser no.2 : 'You have a boyfriend?'
Me: 'Yes I have a boyfriend.'
Loser no.2: 'Oh ok......so you wanna come to my place for dinner tomorrow night?'
Me: '.................er NO?!'
(thinking to myself: didnt' I just mention that I have a boyfriend??)
Losers!!!
Yesterday evening as me and some friends were having drinks at a bar, two losers came up to us and conveniently plonked themselves down next to us. After the usual 'Where are you from?'; 'What are you here in Italy for?' (despite trying to brush them off), one guy resembling a drunken cokehead asked if he could take a sip from my drink. I rolled my eyes and blurted 'NO'! He went on to ask me in Italian 'Do you know the meaning of 'puttane'?' I said no and I did not wish to know and told him to leave. Sure he got up and left, after shouting in my face 'Sei puttane!!!' The meaning of 'puttane' - whore. He is one smelly cunt himself.
Not the end of the story.
Loser no.2 : 'You have a boyfriend?'
Me: 'Yes I have a boyfriend.'
Loser no.2: 'Oh ok......so you wanna come to my place for dinner tomorrow night?'
Me: '.................er NO?!'
(thinking to myself: didnt' I just mention that I have a boyfriend??)
Losers!!!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
The not so dolce vita
A general poll amongst my friends here in Italy (not Italians) shows that while Italy is a great place for travel, it is not necessarily the best place for living.
Case in point, Italian bureacracy and lack of system.
1) One of the general instructions to foreign students when they arrive in Italy is to apply for a staying permit. Previously, what the students need to do is to head down to the Questura (police station) and produce some photos and their passport. Now, we have got to fill in a PILE of forms (all in Italian), and these are meant for students coming here to LEARN Italian. Afterwhich there is a fee of maybe 40 over euros and only after a couple of months later, will your permit arrive, and this apply to students who are here for only say 2 months. And everyone would have already obtained a student visa before arriving. It's already my third month here, I have not applied for one and I am still not behind bars. So there.
2) My laptop was fucked along the way to Singapore but it had a 3-year warranty under HP. When I called Milan, HP's main office in Italy, they requested for me to send a photo of my fucked laptop. Italians are tech geniuses because they can derive the problem and maybe solve it from a picture sent over the internet. When I explained that it was still under warranty (it's worldwide, mind you), they said they will do a check and they came back with a reply that it would cost me 400 euros for servicing. They will be more than happy to waive the shipping cost. Am I glad! Not.
3) My Japanese friend Ikumi had her mum send her a laptop from Japan. It took maybe a month or so and was stuck in Rome for the longest time. When it finally arrived in a parcel, there was the cable and... nothing else. Upset and worried, she called the ufficio postale and demanded an answer. They casually shrugged it off with 'I don't know what happened to it, I am sorry.' And the most ludicrous of it all? 'Maybe your mother forgot to put it (the laptop) in.' Do they take her for a dimwit?
Italy for you. The not so dolce vita.
Case in point, Italian bureacracy and lack of system.
1) One of the general instructions to foreign students when they arrive in Italy is to apply for a staying permit. Previously, what the students need to do is to head down to the Questura (police station) and produce some photos and their passport. Now, we have got to fill in a PILE of forms (all in Italian), and these are meant for students coming here to LEARN Italian. Afterwhich there is a fee of maybe 40 over euros and only after a couple of months later, will your permit arrive, and this apply to students who are here for only say 2 months. And everyone would have already obtained a student visa before arriving. It's already my third month here, I have not applied for one and I am still not behind bars. So there.
2) My laptop was fucked along the way to Singapore but it had a 3-year warranty under HP. When I called Milan, HP's main office in Italy, they requested for me to send a photo of my fucked laptop. Italians are tech geniuses because they can derive the problem and maybe solve it from a picture sent over the internet. When I explained that it was still under warranty (it's worldwide, mind you), they said they will do a check and they came back with a reply that it would cost me 400 euros for servicing. They will be more than happy to waive the shipping cost. Am I glad! Not.
3) My Japanese friend Ikumi had her mum send her a laptop from Japan. It took maybe a month or so and was stuck in Rome for the longest time. When it finally arrived in a parcel, there was the cable and... nothing else. Upset and worried, she called the ufficio postale and demanded an answer. They casually shrugged it off with 'I don't know what happened to it, I am sorry.' And the most ludicrous of it all? 'Maybe your mother forgot to put it (the laptop) in.' Do they take her for a dimwit?
Italy for you. The not so dolce vita.
Monday, May 7, 2007
No (head) buts
Ok, so I am not the greatest football fan, or at least I dont't pretend to be. And yes, I still do not know how to spot an off-side. But hey nonetheless it was heaps of fun at the finals of the Serie A league in Italy (Inter Milan vs AC Siena) - AC Siena is in Serie A hor! I think the last time I went to a football match was during the Tiger Cup when Abbas Saad (who again?) was still hot. And the only thing I remembered about it was that it was...boring. 
The Italians really breathe and live football. The cheers, spirit, ethusiasm. But I guess one of the other highlights of the game was seeing Materazzi (yes THAT guy who got head butted) play 'live', scoring 2 goals for Inter Milan. He appears on this month's Italy Vanity Fair.
The Italians really breathe and live football. The cheers, spirit, ethusiasm. But I guess one of the other highlights of the game was seeing Materazzi (yes THAT guy who got head butted) play 'live', scoring 2 goals for Inter Milan. He appears on this month's Italy Vanity Fair.
Signs that he loves you
Signs that a man loves you:
- He composes love poems and texts you on your mobile.
- He listens to the songs you like and sings them to you.
- He sends you silly pictures of himself so you will be reminded of him constantly.
- Everyday he calls to tell you how much he loves and misses you.
- And as a result, he forgoes life's little luxuries in order to pay for exorbitant overseas phone bills.
And that's my boy :)
- He composes love poems and texts you on your mobile.
- He listens to the songs you like and sings them to you.
- He sends you silly pictures of himself so you will be reminded of him constantly.
- Everyday he calls to tell you how much he loves and misses you.
- And as a result, he forgoes life's little luxuries in order to pay for exorbitant overseas phone bills.
And that's my boy :)
Friday, May 4, 2007
Venice Rocks
Venice Rocks Ass, Baby!
Tops the list of one of the must-visit places in Italy.
I admit, I am not easily impressed but yes it must be one of the most romantic places ever. Paris is soooooooo over-rated. I was blown away by the grandeur of Piazza San Marco and Palazzo Ducale. Try taking the gondola but it is outrageously expensive- one gondola costs f***king 120 euros! In fact, it costs 2 euros just to go to the loo during carnivale season in february. Rip off. You Italians! Boo!
Must visits:
1) Piazza San Marco: Beware of bird poo.
2) Ponte Rialto: Best place to take in the sights of Venice. Has an open air market.
More pics here.
http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/eileenleeyl/Venezia
Tops the list of one of the must-visit places in Italy.
I admit, I am not easily impressed but yes it must be one of the most romantic places ever. Paris is soooooooo over-rated. I was blown away by the grandeur of Piazza San Marco and Palazzo Ducale. Try taking the gondola but it is outrageously expensive- one gondola costs f***king 120 euros! In fact, it costs 2 euros just to go to the loo during carnivale season in february. Rip off. You Italians! Boo!
Must visits:
1) Piazza San Marco: Beware of bird poo.
2) Ponte Rialto: Best place to take in the sights of Venice. Has an open air market.
More pics here.
http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/eileenleeyl/Venezia
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