How to identify an American

How to identify an American:

1) You hear them before you see them.
2) Why? They don't speak. They holler.
3) When you do see them, they are decked out in flip flops and boob tubes like it's their uniform.
4) They speak Italian (but only in class) with an American accent. (I would looove a gelado [sic]...I feel like some spagheddi [sic]...)
5) They are usually the ones with the hangovers, cos they simply look the part.
6) You hear them before you see them.

So yeah. I don't heart them that much. Shoot me.